I had been battling with this sin for more than five years. Only really close friends know about this terrible secret. Even my parents are unaware of it. I had been through two abortions before, one when I was 18, and another when I was 21.
The emotional wound did not heal for quite some time. I would be filled with negative feelings and deep regrets whenever I was reminded of the abortions. Sometimes, I would cry in the toilet or in my room, running through the events in my head and wondering how I could get out of this rut. I would confess my sins repeatedly, thinking that it would eventually redeem me from my past.
Over the period of five years, I was involved in two relationships and each time, I would confess my past to my boyfriends, telling them how lousy I was but at the same time, hoping that they would still like and accept me.
Then, a friend of mine introduced me to New Creation Church. I remember the first service I went to was a midweek service. During praise and worship, I felt something touch my soul but I could not put my finger on it. During the sermon, I felt my first loving touch from God. I also felt God pulling this sin out of my heart and wiping it away forever. After the service, there was an unexplainable peace in my heart.
Since then, my life has been transformed effortlessly through our Lord, Jesus Christ. Whenever I am reminded of the abortions, I no longer have those lousy feelings. I did not even have to fight those feelings. They have simply become an issue of the past. As Pastor Prince unveiled the beauty of Jesus week after week, I learnt so much about God’s goodness in my life. Jesus is my freedom and my forgiveness. He is the only one I need.
I used to read a lot of depressing tabloids and online forums. I was also a fan of self-help books filled with steps on how to improve myself and achieve my goals. However, the motivational and positive feelings never lasted long. I found it difficult to maintain the positive vibes on my own. But now, I just keep myself in His grace and perfect love. It is now effortless for me to be positive, with a spring in my step. Now, I fill my days with reading devotionals, listening to praise and worship songs, and sermon CDs. I have learnt that it is only with Jesus and through Jesus that I can expect everlasting goodness.
My life is now a life full of gratitude and rejoicing. Thank you Pastor Prince!